Wednesday, November 12, 2008

The uncertainty of distance

Ugh! Public blogs! What a horrible place to air your thoughts! After all of the dating disasters, I did finally meet someone that has caught my eye. We started emailing at the end of June. I thought it was cute that he sent an email every day simply titled as the day of the week. He shared little pieces of his daily life. He was witty and funny, and definitely handsome according to his photos. Of course, I had learned that you can never trust a photo.......

We corresponded through July and into August, and one day he sent an email saying he was coming to town and would I have lunch with him? I just tried to post a photo so that anyone reading this would understand why I wouldn't say no, but the pictures are loaded on the other computer. So I said yes......It turned out that I had the grandkids that day. All 3 of them! I didn't think it would matter. After all, the guy lives in Sitka. (If you're not familiar with AK, just look as far south down the peninsula as you can. Sitka is closer to Seattle than Anchorage.) I wasn't taking this meeting too seriously. The kids were being well behaved (thank goodness) because when that man walked in, I literally couldn't breathe. Yeah. He was handsome in his photos, but that didn't begin to describe his entrance!

He was a bit shocked at seeing 3 kids. But he sat down and took it well. I made introductions, and this is the first time I had seen my 3 year-old granddaughter absolutely speechless. She literally didn't talk for 15 minutes, but just stared and batter her eyes at him. I tried to distract him with conversation, but her undivided attention was hard to ignore. After about 15 minutes of silence she blurts out "I love you". It came out airy and breathless. Conversation kind of stopped and I think I was holding my breath, but Brian was good about it. He just said "Wow! Thank you! That's special". Then Jordan started giggling. I was laughing, but I also recognized the fact that Jordan's taste in men is very similar to her Grandma's! Haha!

I was too distracted to tell what we may have discussed that day. When we finished our meal, we turned the kids loose as we strolled down to the end of the mall and back talking for a half hour. Jordan announced that she had to go potty, so he took that as an opportunity to begin his departure. He asked if I would meet him the next day for a walk on the coastal trail. Heck yeah!

I wasn't sure he would actually show up, but he called as I was pulling into the parking lot the next day and said he was just a few minutes away. I walked for about 15 minutes and then sat on a park bench overlooking the water, and 'sleeping lady'. We talked for over 2 hours. I don't know what we said. It was a blur. His blue eyes were fascinating. He was as tall as he had stated. He had claimed 48, but was actually 50. He confessed right away, and I decided it was forgiveable. When we walked back to our cars, it was a very awkward moment. We're strangers - what happens at this point? I didn't know, so I just said good-bye and walked to my car. Duh. It bothered me all afternoon. I had a feeling of uneasiness that just wouldn't go away.
I finally decided to text him. I sent a message saying I was uncomfortable about the way things were left. My phone immediately rang, and it was him. I couldn't bring myself to answer. I felt so foolish. He left a message saying that he had also felt the awkwardness, but that it was a good thing, because it meant we made a connection. What a nice thing to say!! That was the perfect explanation. I waited until the next day when I knew he was headed home to text him back and tell him that I was afraid it was one-sided. He came back with "Not one-sided, OK?" How sweet is that?
More to follow. It's 1:30 and I'm exhausted.

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